Monthly Archives: January 2007

No Effort

There always seems to be such a very big gap between the things that I daydream about and my everyday life. I do not have any real fear of the future, or of change, or of dying without achieving anything by which society will supposedly measure what sort of a person I was. My fears swirl around living a life in which my dreams are more pleasant than my reality. Where the what-ifs and the might-have-beens take up more space in my memory than the things I did. So I am afraid of dreaming about things that might never happen. Things like being an author, since it is so easy to imagine never ending up as an author. In some ways the issue is that all I’d have to do is do nothing and my life would end up living itself and being empty and meaningless.

I also wish I could fly.


Are you happysad? We have this brief moment, pointpoint, timetime, nothing else.
Is that enough?
Are we chasing the horizon or is there a goal? Define a culture by consumption by excess by decadence by ondemand whenyouwantit asmuchasyoucanafford. No wonder it gets heady when it ends. Hard to tell. The finality of choices make it fragile. Long moments endure. Hold them. Choose them.